Saturday, December 18, 2010

Non Confrontational

I was cozy on my couch yesterday afternoon when, on a whim, I decided to take a peek in my planner.  Cute, isn't it?  I may have an itty bitty minor Vera Bradley obssession:  (hint hint: Christmas is near!)
It was then I realized I had an appointment that afternoon which I had completely forgotten about.  An appointment to plead my case and work my charm to get out of this lovely little piece of paper.
 I really didn't want to go, really really didn't want to.  I had my fleece on, cuddled up in my blankets, ready for a little post-finals nap..... and it was cold outside.  Not just cold, but 20 below freezing!  I pretty much try to not pass my threshold under 20 degrees

But I lugged my butt downtown, sat in a crowded waiting room with 30 other people contesting tickets, and waited for my name to be called.  Not a fun place by the way.  The judge, she was really really mean.  She went along with half my story, but only decreased it, claiming that I had to have arrived earlier than 9:55 for a 10:00 class.  Clearly she doesn't know me; I'm pretty much the queen of showing up to class with zero seconds to spare!  Apparently I should have brought my friends as witnesses.

Even though I saved $19 by "fighting" the ticket, but I couldn't stop thinking about it the whole drive home.  I'm really not a confrontational person.  I'll stand up for myself and those I care about when it matters, but I'll avoid confrontation when I can.  Like sitting in that court room.  I could have continued to argue my case but instead I just said ok and walked out and paid my fee to the cashier.

The situation got me thinking.  I've always considered myself "non-confrontational", and the hubs is just as much so.  I've always considered this a positive trait to posses.  Yesterday's experience had me considering otherwise though.  Is it actually a downfall to avoid confrontation?  Do you get more out of life if you're always willing to fight for it?  Is it possible for it to be both?

Then I began to think about how confrontation affects us a little deeper.  I like having an inner sense of calm.  Do confrontational individuals ever have that calm or are they constantly hyped up in inside, ready to fight as soon as a reason strikes?

So maybe I don't get everything I want because I don't fight for it.  Maybe someone else puts up a fight and takes what I wanted instead.  Everything that truly matters to me though, I already have.  I don't think any amount of debating or argument winning can ever beat that.

We're lovers, not fighters.  How 'bout you?

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