Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Getting Burned

Warning: Total Debbie-Downer post ahead.

It's too early in the semester for burnout, but I'm already there.  I only have 5 weeks of coursework left after this week, and it feels like an eternity.  That's 5 weeks left, period.  After that I'll be purely on internship until graduation in April 2012.  I should be ecstatic and joyfully counting down the days with excitement.  Unfortunately, that's just not how things are flying.

I have a lot on my plate, of course, but that's always been when I really thrived.  My planner is full, there are mounds of wonderful things happening outside of school, and life is good.  I just feel completely... blah.  Oh, and annoyed, irritable, restless, anxious...  I'm ready to be in a new place in my life.  I know things will all change when I start my last rotation in May, but that just doesn't even seem to be in sight right now.

I have no motivation to work on the projects that I should be, no inspiration to be preparing myself for my placement in May, no passion for anything that we cover in class.  Don't get me wrong, my passion and drive for where I want to be in another two months and for the rest of my life is still absolutely there.  It's all those little steps I have to take in the next 6 weeks that I'm just dreading and letting bring me down.

The hubs tried to put things into perspective for me this evening.  He reminded me of how much I've overcome and accomplished since starting on the journey for my doctoral degree almost two years ago.  Grad school, especially full-time for 3 years working toward a clinical doctorate is a b-i-g-d-e-a-l.  I should be proud and motivated.  With 5 1/2 semesters behind me and only 5 weeks ahead though, I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall.  It doesn't make sense, but I just can't shake this feeling.

How do you all fight that feeling when you've just lost your motivation?  Whether it's school, work, hobbies, exercise... how do you get your head back in the game to finish strong?  I need some ZEST back in my step!

1 comment:

  1. Your so close! You just need a good night of sleep and a sunny day, and you'll turn right around :) When I'm stuck in the emotional duldrums, I make lists. Lists of things I feel like I need to do, another list of things I WANT to do... and it usually helps me put things in perspective (last time it turned into a list of flowers I might want to plant in my yard). Sometimes I feel like I haven't accomplished anything at all, in which case I make a list of tiny things I did, like "took a shower" or "called mom" just so I can cross them off, it usually helps!